The Road Less Traveled
by Sarahjane
Summary: Rosethorn and Crane ponder an important decision.
1. Choices

DISCLAIMER: These characters belong to Tamora Pierce and are used here without permission. Please don't sue me!  
  
The Road Less Traveled  
Choices  
  
Briar and his friends would never believe it, but Crane and I didn't always hate each other. As Lark said, we used to get along very well. Of course that was her idea of a joke. After all, we did get along very well. We were in love.  
  
When I first arrived at Winding Circle, I was a young novice eager to learn all that I could so that I could become a great dedicate. That was all I cared about--that and my plants, of course. I was focused. I knew exactly what I wanted. The future appeared within my grasp.  
  
But at Winding Circle, although I was very good, the other novices didn't like me. The dedicates praised me too much for my own good. Plus, I was a just a farmer's daughter, a rural tomboy, and the other girls teased me mercilessly.  
  
I suppose that it is greatly ironic that a count's son would be my savior. Unlike the others, Isas didn't seem to care that I was just a country girl. He treated me like he treated everyone--with plenty of arrogance, condesension, and competition. It sounds silly that I liked him for this, but compared to the others, he was wonderful. He never treated me like I was inferior or like I didn't belong. In fact, he paid special attention to me because I was, as he put it, the only one with half a chance of keeping up with him.  
  
It wasn't long before I fell in love with him, and not long after that he admitted that he was in love with me. I was shocked. I had never thought of myself as pretty. I was too short and stocky, unlike the tall, willowy young girls I saw. I did have nice hair, long auburn curls, but they were so unruly, flying about in the slightest breeze. Anyway, it didn't matter. He was the most wonderful person I had ever met, and, even more amazing, he loved me.  
  
We went to Lightsbridge not long after we started a relationship. Novices were not supposed to be involved, so we had to keep it secret. Outwardly he was as cool and aloof towards me as he was towards everyone else. Privately, though, he continued to win my heart. He saw how miserable I was there, so he stocked my room with plants, constantly adding more and more greenery to the collection on my windowsill. Those little reminders of the life outside was all that kept my body alive during that horrid time, and his love was all that kept my spirit going.  
  
When we returned to Winding Circle, I was thrilled. I was thin and pale and very weak after my time there, and I couldn't wait to get back home. Best of all, without the teachers' constant eyes on Isas, we could have a little more privacy.  
  
One night as we lay in each other's arms, he casually remarked, "When we get married, think how different our lives will be, living in society instead of here."  
  
His words shocked me. Not the part about our getting married--we had already agreed not to take the oath and to instead marry--but the other part. "Society?" My experiences at Lightsbridge had made me hate the word. "Why would we have to live in society?"  
  
"Well, I am the son of a count, Niva," he reminded me. "When we get married we'll go back to the home where I grew up, of course. It's very nice, very old, though. And it's surrounded by woods. You'll like it there."  
  
"But...but we'll have to...to mingle in popular society?" I asked.  
  
"Well, of course, Niva."  
  
Without warning I bolted from his bed and ran outside. He jumped up and followed, but years of playing chase with my brothers had given me good instincts. I easily hid from him in a secluded part of the meadow where the grasses grew particularly high and collapsed on a bed of clover, staring up at the stars.  
  
I shouldn't have been surprised, of course. Isas was very comfortable in those sorts of situations. He had the natural grace of a member of high society. But it had still taken me by surprise.  
  
I dreaded having to mingle with those sorts of people. I hated the thought of once more being the awkward outsider. Here I had made a home for myself. I was comfortable and safe here. The thought of leaving for some dank castle far away where I would have to attend dances and fancy dinner parties made me sick to my stomach.  
  
I loved Isas. I still do. I just couldn't do it. When I saw him, I told him that I didn't want to be with him anymore. He was hurt and angry, and we maintained a strained relationship until he built that monstrosity and gave us a formal reason to disagree. The greenhouse reminds me of Lightsbridge, a manmade prison trying to force nature to conform to its will. Anyway, that's not important. None of it is. I'm happy now. I have the life that I had always dreamed of living. Yet it is all bittersweet. I wonder sometimes what life would be like with Isas, with the love of my life. And I wonder if he feels the same way. But none of that matters. I've made my decision. Now I have to live with it. 


	2. Why?

DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Tamora Pierce and are used here without permission.  
  
Author's Note: This is Crane's version of "The Road Less Traveled." Enjoy!  
  
Why?  
  
Why did you break my heart, Niva? Why? What did I do?  
  
Those words will run through my head forever. Why did she leave me? She loved me. She said so. She wanted us to marry. And then one night she ran away from me. I chased her, but she easily outstripped me. For someone so short, she sure was fast. I searched for her for hours, calling her name. I didn't care if I got in trouble for being out so late. I just wanted to find her.  
  
I did find her, but she seemed different. She said that she never wanted to be with me. I was crushed. I had loved her for so long, ever since the first time I saw her, running down the path, auburn curls streaming out behind her like a cape. When she cut her hair not long after we broke up, I was shocked. I gathered up her hair, that beautiful soft hair. I still have it, actually, in my room. I take it out and look at it sometimes, and I remember...  
  
I remember how happy she made me feel. I remember that nervous tingle that she gave me--that she still gives me, although I would never admit that.  
  
I remember how happy I used to make her. I loved to make her smile. She looked so sad when I first met her, so quiet and lonely. I could always make her smile, though, and I cherished every slow grin that I saw wash over her face. When I brought her plants at Lightsbridge, I longed to keep every smile in a bottle. She was so miserable and sick. But I could always make her feel better, and that made me feel good.  
  
I remember how my heart felt when she said that she didn't want to see me anymore. She said that she wanted us to remain friends. Friends! I wanted to scream. All I wanted was to spend the rest of my life with her. The thought of living without her was like living without air. And yet all she wanted from me was friendship?  
  
I remember how she looked when she took the vows, her newly cropped auburn hair giving her an older, more serious appearance. She didn't look like the girl whom I had loved. She looked older, sadder. I wanted to make her smile again, but I didn't. That part of my life--when I was her protector, her comforter--was over. It ended the moment that she took her vows. And I could never get that time back.  
  
I still think about her a lot. Too much, actually. When she got sick from the blue pox, I felt awful. I wanted to make her better, but I knew that no matter what I did, she might still die. When I heard about her seizure, I ran to Discipline. There was such a commotion, no one noticed when I crept back to her garden. (I still don't know why she hates my greenhouse so much, although maybe it's because I make fun of her garden. I shouldn't, but I can't help myself. At least it keeps me from doing something impulsive, like kissing her.) I peered into the window, and I watched her sleep for hours, until I heard Briar coming.  
  
I still love her, of course. Love isn't something that you can turn on and off like a faucet. But I can never have her. She hates me. I don't know why, but she does. Lark swears that she doesn't, but then why didn't she marry me? I would have made her happy. I would have taken care of her. Why did she leave me?  
  
Why? 


End file.
